


Forbidden

by Emmynn



Category: Star Wars the Old Republic - Fandom
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-13
Updated: 2017-12-13
Packaged: 2019-02-14 11:06:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13006467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emmynn/pseuds/Emmynn
Summary: Rules and codes give you a clear path to walk. But what happens when those very codes lead you down a path that challenges your beliefs?





	1. Don't Judge a Book...

Julian closed his eyes and folded himself on the floor of his room, resting his hands on his thighs. He had been bothered all day by a severe headache. Maybe meditating would bring some relief. "There is no emotion, there is only peace..." He began quietly. "There is no ignorance, there is knowledge. There is no passion, there is serenity. There is no chaos..." **CRASH!** Julian flinched as the sound brought him out of his meditation. He opened his eyes and groaned. He should probably go see what had been knocked over this time.

He entered the small common area and saw his padawan, Baxtar, cleaning up a mess of papers and books that had been knocked over. The young man straightened up and saw Julian, his face flushed all the way to his ears. "I am sorry Master Dusant. I needed a book..." He trailed off in embarrassment.

Julian smiled slightly. "It is okay. No harm done." He wondered to himself how he had ended up with the clumsiest padawan in the whole academy. It would take great patience to train his padawan into a knight. "When you have finished cleaning that up come find me. We will do some sparring."

Julian left his padawan to his task and went back to his room. He settled on his mat again and closed his brown eyes. He focused on the force and let peace wash over him. "There is no emotion, there is peace. There is no ignorance, there is knowledge. There is no passion, there is serenity. There is no chaos, there is harmony. There is no death, there is the force." As he meditated he felt the pressure in his head lessen to a dull roar. 

Julian meditated until he heard a faint knock on his door. Slowly he stood and crossed the room to admit his padawan. "Master Dusant, your books and papers are all in order." The younger man bowed his blonde head and folded his hands, waiting for the rebuke he was sure was coming.

"Baxtar, we have been over this. Call me Julian. I am not some stuffy knight of the old guard. I am to teach you everything I know. Hopefully it will be enough to keep you alive. Go get your sabers."

"Yes...Julian." Baxter replied while squirming a little. Clearly uncomfortable with using his master's given name. He bowed and stumbled through the door to retrieve his lightsabers. Julian retrieved his own weapons and headed out to the training grounds.

The weather was beautiful and the sunshine lifted Julian's spirits. He engaged his sabers. The familiar hiss as the blue light sprang forward helped to calm him even more. He spotted Baxtar across the grounds, making his way through other padawans. Julian saw how the other students looked at Baxtar, wary of his awkward gait, afraid that he would trip over his robes, or their robes, and send them all crashing to the ground. Julian's heart went out to the younger man, he didn't have any close friends with which he had bonded. While romantic attachments were forbidden, friendships were encouraged and expected. Julian decided he needed to find something that would help people to see beyond Baxtar's clumsiness, to the man beneath. He twirled his main saber in an arc while waiting for his padawan.

Baxter stepped onto the sparring platform and bowed slightly to Julian. Julian returned his bow with one of his own, his blades humming by his sides. Baxtar pulled his sabers from his belt and thumbed them on. The green light from his blades leapt forward. Julian watched as Baxtar stood straighter, a proud glow in the young man's blue eyes. He was a different person when he had his sabers in his hands. Full of confidence, not shy, or clumsy. The challange for Julian was to make Baxtar see himself this way. Julian shook his bronze hair out of his eyes and started circling Baxtar. Watching how the young man moved his feet, giving instructions when needed. "Step to the left and then back. Good. Good." He swung his offhand and Baxtar deflected. Stepping forward he pressed Julian back two steps. "Much better." Baxter fainted left and came at Julian with his main saber, Julian's blue saber met Baxter's green, sparks flickering where the blades touched. Julian spun and lunged at Baxtar, who parried the attack. His blade hissed as it touched Julian's. Baxtar swiped at Julian, who ducked and rolled under the attack. He sprang to his feet just behind Baxter and disengaged his sabers. He touched the length of one of his hilts to the back of Baxtar's neck. Both of Baxter's blades disengaged as he bowed to Julian. "Back to the center of the platform my young padawan." Baxter hurried to move back to the center of the sparring ring. Green light washed over his face as he lit his sabers. Julian leaped at him, igniting his sabers mid air. Their sparring lesson continued.

After the sparring lesson was over Julian went back to his quarters to take a quick couple minutes in the refresher. He emerged wearing clean robes and was towel drying his hair. He heard the togruta before he saw her. "Hey Julian!" The bright cheery voice of his friend Sabrym greeted him. He peeked out from the towel and saw her sitting cross legged in the middle of his bed a friendly smile on her lips.

"Hello Sabrym. To what do I owe this honor? Don't you have lessons to teach?" A hint of a smile played around his lips. He tossed the towel into a basket nearby.

"Yes, yes." She giggled, and waved away his question. "I came by because I found the information that we were discussing the other day. I thought you would want it." She hopped up from the bed, and reached into her gray robes pulling a tightly rolled up piece of parchment. She held it out Julian between her purple fingers. "I hope that it has the answers you need, but be careful. I sense that this path will bring you something that aren't ready for." She closed her violet eyes and bowed to Julian. 

"Wait, Sabrym, before you go, I have a question for you." 

"Yes? Do hurry though, as someone reminded me, I have a lesson to teach." She teased.

Julian rolled his eyes. "It is about Baxtar. He seems like a different person when he is sparring. I have noticed he is lonely, and that he does not have friends to help him through his trials here. I do not want him to become isolated. But I am finding it difficult to coax him out of his shell. He only sees Jedi Master Dusant. Not Julian, a possible friend."

"I had noticed that too. That he is lonely I mean. But he seems painfully shy. Once he gets comfortable in his place he will open up. You will see." She smiled and punched Julian in the shoulder. "Besides, who doesn't eventually come around to your charms?" She checked the chronometer on her wrist. "I have to go, if I am late again Satele is going to kill me!" She hurried from the room, her gray robe whipping out of sight.

Julian unrolled the scroll and sat on the edge of his bed while he read it. His worst fears beginning to take shape. He would need to take action, sooner rather than later. The council would need to be notified. His headache blossomed behind his eyes again in full force. He packed a few changes of clothes and went out to the landing strip to get his ship prepared. 


	2. Negotiations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Julian goes to deal with the threat that he has foreseen. He makes some headway with Baxtar.

The stars were bright ribbons outside the darkened viewport. The rest of the crew had long since gone to sleep, but Julian had been awakened by a deep sense of foreboding. He paced around the bridge while he tried to plan his next step. The situation had to be handled delicately. The peace between the Republic and the Empire was fragile. He didn't want this mission to be the match that reignited the war. The ship would drop out of hyperspace in five hours and negotiations would have to begin in earnest. Julian sensed someone else moving about the ship and turned to greet the young man as he stepped on to the bridge. "Good morning Baxtar."  Julian offered his padawan a friendly smile. 

Baxtar returned Julian's smile with a hesitant smile of his own. "I couldn't sleep Master."

"Me either. I came here to think. You may join me if you would like." Julian began pacing again as he waited to see how Baxtar would respond. Baxtar stepped further onto the bridge. Wanting companionship, but not wanting to disturb his master's thoughts, he took a seat nearby and looked out the viewport. The two men fell into silence. Companionable on Julian's part, but awkward on Baxtar's.

Julian's pacing brought him passed Baxter and he looked to his padawan. "Do you understand the climate on Balmorra?"

"Balmorra is under siege from the Empire. They want the planets resources and droid factories." Baxtar replied, still looking out the viewport.

"Yes. The people of Balmorra are independent, and have not pledged themselves to the Republic or the Empire. But if we are ever to win them to our side we must lend them aid." Julian explained.

Baxtar nodded his head. His blue eyes betrayed him though. He didn't understand. "Mast...Julian." He corrected himself. "If we are supposed to be helping people why don't we do more for the Twi'lek colony on Tython?"

"Sadly there are some on the council who stick too strongly to ideals that serve no one. When the Twi'lek's settled there they did so against the council's wishes. Making their settlement illegal. The Order could pardon them and then freely lend them aid. Until that happens though for the Order to aid them it would set a precedent, it cannot appear that we are supporting criminals."

"But there are children in that settlement. They have committed no crimes."

Julian nodded and smiled at his padawan. "True. Which is why as a singular Jedi may act on their behalf."

"But I am just one padawan. And not a very good one at that." Baxtar said quietly.

"One person can make a large impact on a village. Either good or bad." Julian said. "And there is not another padawan that can match your skill with a lightsaber. You know the Jedi code backwards and forward." 

Baxtar shook his head. "Book smarts and fancy footwork. Neither will help me negotiate treaties. How will I talk to strangers when I can't talk to my teachers or fellow padawans?" Baxtar ran a hand through his blonde hair.

Julian took a step closer to his padawan and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Baxtar what you are feeling is human."

"But we are taught to suppress our emotions." Baxtar argued.

"That doesn't mean we don't feel them." Julian removed his hand from Baxtar's shoulder and folded his hands behind his back. "Do you know what I was doing before you joined me on the bridge?"

"No Master."

"I was questioning myself. Doubting if I was the right person for this mission. See, even Jedi Masters are not immune." Julian smiled sheepishly.

"Thank you for your honesty. I guess I have some things I need to reevaluate." Baxter stood and bowed to Julian. 

Julian watched the young man walk back to the corridor that led to the crew cabins. He felt a weight lift from him. Baxtar had finally opened up a little. It was a start. Julian could work with that. He smiled to himself, Sabrym would be pleased that they were making progress.

The shuttle finally dropped out of hyperspace above the small planet of Balmorra. Julian clipped his sabers to his belt and slipped a light brown colored robe over his tan clothing. It was now or never. He calmed his nerves by reciting the Jedi code quietly to himself. Baxtar finally joined the group as the doors slid open and everyone disembarked, he followed behind everyone, keeping his distance. Julian fell back to walk with him, hoping that their earlier breakthrough would lead to more conversation. He looked down at the younger man, who walked with his head bowed, watching his feet. Julian tried to find a topic to discuss, while they walked, but everything sounded forced.

Baxtar's brow was furrowed in concentration. He was trying to tune everyone out, and not let his anxiety get the better of him. He was about to go into a meeting with a bunch of people that would be trying to come up with a solution that both sides could live with. He didn't want to make himself or his master look like a fool by doing or saying the wrong thing. Seriously what was he doing here? He was wasting Julian's time by coming here. He should have stayed on Tython, where at least if he made himself look like a fool he wouldn't be letting anyone but himself down. He thought about returning to the ship and waiting there, but he knew that would be fruitless as Julian would just coax him to join him for this meeting, and it would only delay Julian.

The contingent walked into a building at the end of the street and were ushered into a small waiting room. Representatives of each government were filing passed them with lists of their demands. Julian pushed down his feelings, they would not serve him here.  Once the representatives were seated the Jedi Master was ushered in. Julian motioned to Baxtar to follow him. He wanted Baxtar to be a part of this meeting, so he could see how a Jedi conducted a negotiation. Maybe he would see that it wasn't something to fear. Baxtar folded his hands together and followed Julian into the meeting, his fingers knotted together tightly with stress. 

The delegates argued back and forth for what seemed like an eternity. Neither backing down or giving the other side an inch. Baxtar couldn't make heads or tails of the argument. Both sides made convincing cases.

Julian stood and paced a few steps while deliberating. He had heard all sides of this disagreement and was ready to make his suggestions. Balmorra would retain their independence. The Empire would see a ten percent increase in droid production. The Republic would gain nothing from this treaty. Except the trust of Balmorra, which Julian felt was the better part of the deal. The Balmorran delegate was happy with the deal. But neither the Empire or Republic were pleased.

Baxtar had a suggestion and he tapped Julian on the wrist. "Master. If I may make a suggestion?"

"Go ahead. The floor is yours." Julian held his hand out indicating the room of delegates and their attendants. He was pleased to see the younger man meeting his fear head on. 

Baxtar got to his feet awkwardly and cleared his throat. He spoke softly, not making eye contact with anyone. The delegates started talking over the padawan. He was not a full fledged Jedi and did not garner the same respect as his master.

This insensed Julian. In a fit of anger Julian raised his voice over the angry voices. "Listen to the boy!" He slammed one of his saber hilts on the table for emphasis. The room grew very silent. Every eye was on Julian waiting to see what the Jedi's next move would be. Julian stood up, back straight, head high, and turned his back on the room. He marched through the doorway. He needed five minutes, just to compose himself. Then he would return and try to clean up the mess he had just created.

Julian sank down in a cushy chair in the small waiting room. He placed his head in his hands. How was he going to salvage this?  And Baxtar...he had just left him alone. Julian felt like such a failure. The Jedi Order had trusted him to handle this. He pushed down all of these feelings and stood. It was time to go face the delegates and try to reach a resolution.

As Julian pulled the door open Baxtar walked through the frame. His blue eyes met Julian's brown. There was triumph in the younger man's eyes. "You did it Julian! They have agreed to your terms. They are signing the treaty now. It just needs your signature." A genuine smile stretched across Baxtar's face. He held Julian's hilt out to him.

"No Baxtar. You salvaged the deal. You sign it." Julian clipped his lightsaber back to his belt as he bowed to his padawan with a smile. 


End file.
